Jokes

Breakthrough -

Apple Computer reported today that it has developed computer chips that can
store and play music inside women's breasts.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always
complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Wife:                     Honey..... What are You Looking for ?
Husband :            Nothing.
Wife :                    Nothing...?? U've been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ??
Husband :            I was just looking 4 the expiry date.
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Q -                         What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A -                         One Woman Brings U into this world crying... & the other ensures U Continue to do so.
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Wife :                    Do you want dinner?
Husband :            Sure, what are my choices?
Wife :                    Yes and no.

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Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Husband:When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband:Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem can there be greater than this one?"
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Girl: When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.
Boy:It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or troubles.
Girl: Well that's because we aren't married yet.
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A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
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Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
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Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire:          "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer:        "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire:          "Billionaire"
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A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor.