JOKE

A married player was in his bed about to die from a sudden disease he didn't know.He was sure that night he was definately not waking up after sleeping.He then called his wife.
 
"Angela my love-b4 I die I want to confess something"
 
The wife replied,"there is nothing to confess about darling,just sleep now"
 
"No my love,I want to die in peace,it's very important I confess b4 I die",he insisted.
 
"I slept with your best friend,your sister and your mother",the player continued.
 
"I know dear,that's why I poisoned you",she informed him................
 
 
Good lesson mmm,and I sure he didn't die peacefully as he hoped.

 A FRIEND IS:
A member of the opposite sex in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing
 
has some truth to it eh?? if you have jokes to share...post em

cheers

I want to share this site to you guys....
 http://www.hellocrazy.com/en/browse.pl?pagination=&cr=&st=cat&val=27&page=1&sn=&ord=&header=

An African leader makes an official trip to Russia. At the end of the trip, the Russian leader tells the African that in Russia they have a custom performed at farewells called "Russian Roulette" to demonstrate one's courage. The Russian whips out a revolver, loads one chamber, gives the cylinder a spin, puts the gun to his head and pulls the trigger.....CLICK.....empty chamber. He hands the revolver to his African guest, and says, "Your turn." Not to be outdone, the African repeats the ritual....CLICK.....empty.

The next year, the Russian visits the African country. At the end of the trip, the African tells his Russian peer that he was very impressed with "Russian Roulette" and that he has spent the last year devising an African ritual to demonstrate one's courage. The African then disappears through a door only to reappear a few minutes later smiling, and says, "Your turn."

The African escorts the Russian through the door. In the room are six of the most beautiful, naked women he has ever seen. The African explains that he is to choose one of the women, who will perform oral sex on him. Absolutely dumbfounded, the Russian asks, "What kind of test of courage is this?! "The African calmly answers...."One of them is a cannibal."

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

    Smart man + smart woman = romance

    Smart man + dumb woman = affair

    Dumb man + smart woman = marriage

    Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

    OFFICE ARITHMETIC

    Smart boss + smart employee = profit

    Smart boss + dumb employee = production

    Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

    Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't
need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a
husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a
wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his
wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot
and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and
not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but
married men are a lot more willing to die.

 PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change,
and she does.


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a
new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING
MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me
in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped
after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.